Hop against Homophobia and Transphobia

Today is the International Day against Homophobia and Transphobia, and I’m participating in this blog hop.

You know the It Gets Better campaign? Well, it does. It has. In the past years, attitudes towards LGBT people have made enormous improvements. We can see this in legislation. More states now include sexual orientation and gender identity in their hate crime laws. More states now allow same sex marriages. DADT is DOA.

We can see the change in how people act too. For nearly 20 years I’ve been teaching a university class that deals with homophobia–among other biases. I always ask the straight guys to imagine they’re in a bar and a girl who’s totally not their type hits on them. What’s their reaction? No big deal, they say. They’d politely tell her no thanks. Then I ask them to imagine it’s a guy who hits on them. It used to be that my students would react with laughter, with hoots of derision, with pained faces, with promises that they’d hit the guy. But reactions have changed. Nowadays the students shrug. “I’d be flattered,” some of them say. “I’d let him buy me a free drink,” others say. No big deal. They’d politely tell him no thanks.

This is progress.

But we still have so far to go. My gay friends still can’t get married here in California or in most other states. In some states, people can be fired or denied housing because they’re gay. People with same sex partners still have to think about whether it’s safe to show affection in public. Just the other day, two young men were attacked outside Madison Square Garden because they were holding hands.Transgender people are still attacked merely for being, even in San Francisco.

I’ve had students show up in my classes with black eyes from getting bashed, with police reports from when their homes were vandalized. I’ve had students tell me their family no longer speaks to them. I’ve seen my friends and colleagues deal with hassles related to taxes, insurance, adoption, health care directives. I’m hoping that soon the day will arrive when I never see these things again.


I’m giving away two prizes: an e-copy of my new novel Buried Bones and a $10 donation in your name to the Human Rights Campaign or the LGBT organization of your choice. I’ll randomly choose the two winners from the comments on this post. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment with your email before noon PDT May 28 .

64 thoughts on “Hop against Homophobia and Transphobia”

  1. It’s hard living in a red state where being LGBTQ is seen as immoral, etc. I’ve cheered all the states making gay marriage legal and am impressed at the coutries worldwide that accept it. I’d love to see the day when all people are treated equally, but don’t think I’ll live that long.


    1. I’d love to see that day too. And really, we’ve come a long way in the past few years… but there’s still a long way to go.

  2. I’m proud to be in a state that has legal same sex marriage but we still have a long way to go in my town, state, nation, and worldwide. Today is a good reminder of that and also of the hope that things are getting better.

    Please do enter me in the contest! I’ve been wanting to start reading your books and though I love supporting authors I am also on a self imposed recreational spending moratorium at the moment…


  3. Thank you for taking part in the hop!

    In order to combat hatred, we must spread love. Educate others, bring awareness, because every person who has their mind opened is one person closer to a world where homophobia and transphobia doesn’t exist.


  4. I’m glad to see there’s progress on the ground level. Young people are the future. We probably can’t do anything about the people set in their ways, but if the younger generation can make it work, then we’re on the right track.

    zahra AT zahraowens DOT com

  5. Progress is a good thing. I think right now we have a lot of folks making progress and it’s good to see folks experiencing it, but we still have a long way to go. Thanks for sharing on the blog hop.

  6. It’s a shame that people think they might have the right to judge other people who wants to just live their lifes in their own way. It’s so stupid. The important thing is to live the only one short life we all have in the way ine want to. Last week my grandma died. I was close to her and she was born 1919 and in her first whole halve of her life she just have to deal with bad circumstances. Weand the later ones have a choice. But a lot people are not able to appreciate the freedom and possibilities they have. Instead of that they make the freedoms and their possibilities much smaller with their stupid judgements of other people. I do hope this will change soon.

    1. You’re right–we only have one life, and we shouldn’t waste it trying to make other people unhappy.

      I’m so sorry about your grandmother. She certainly lived through interesting times!

  7. Wow, what a terrific post, Kim!
    Here’s to the day that we no longer have a need for a Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia!

  8. I have Buried Bones on my wish list and would love to win it. Thank you for the opportunity to win and for participating in the hop. The donation is a great idea as a prize as well.


  9. Thank you for your great post! Your students are very lucky to have you! There should be more education about GLBTQ issues in schools and college. If we can change the perception of teenagers and young adults, they may educate their children to be more open minded!

    stormymonday AT gmx DOT net

  10. We go through this over and over. Various groups are denied basic rights, and have to fight for them. We usually win–but why repeat the same mistakes over and over? One sweeping rule for completely equality for everyone would be great. This process comes with so much pain, but again, we win in the end.
    brendurbanist @gmail. com

  11. Thanks for your thoughts. Progress is being made, lets hope it grows exponentially as more younger people grow up into society with the ‘love is love’ mantra in their heads

    littlesuze at hotmail.com

  12. Kim,

    It is sad that it is 2013 and our community is still having to fight for equality and against discrimination. It makes me think of how women had to fight for the right to vote and the civil rights movement. One day, we will be able to look back in history and see our community’s struggle in the same light as those others who battled before us. I just hope that I am alive when that day comes!

    Thanks for being part of this hop that continues to grow every year.

    bcothernbooks AT gmail DOT com

    1. Thanks for visiting, Brenda! I hope one day everyone will think it’s ridiculous that so many people had to fight so hard to be treated equally.

  13. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for the informative post. Also thank you for taking part in the hop and being a voice against homophobia and transphobia.

    humhumbum AT yahoo DOT com

  14. Thanks for hopping and sharing. You are in a very unique situation to observe the changes in attitude and maybe help them along a little.

  15. It just makes me heartsick when I read about people getting hurt and killed because of who they are, because someone hates them without knowing them as a person or even thinking of them as a person. For every great stride, there’s always more to be done. I hope people are feeling stronger and stronger as they visit different stops on the hop and know that we must always stand against hate and stand up for what’s right.

    Thanks for sharing with all of us (and one great charity), Kim!

    caroaz [at] ymail [dot] com

    1. And as a parent, I can understand how heartbreaking it must be to worry about your son. I hope someday soon all our children can be safe, respected, and equal.

  16. I’m in Florida one of the states where gay marriage isn’t legal, last I heard same sex couples can’t adopt, and they still teach abstinence only sex ed, not progressive at all. Thanks so much for your post in this blog hop! Such an important subject.
    OceanAkers @ aol.com

  17. Thank you for hopping!
    I have the privilege of living in the state where the same-sex marriage has been legalized for close to a decade now. Sometimes it feels like living in a different world. It blows my mind that this basic human right is still denied to most people. The speed of the change is accelerating though and I think we will see some great things happen within our lifetimes. I know I cried like an idiot when DADT was repealed; I never thought I would get to see it in my lifetime. It gave me hope for the future. It might be slow going but we can change the world, even if it’s only a little bit at the time 🙂

  18. Kim, you’re so right – things are better, but better than god awful doesn’t mean good. Thanks for doing this and for being one of our ‘straight’ allies. [Of course I don’t think of you as straight, you’re just Kim, but you get the idea.]


  19. I live in a country where you can marry whomever you want at whereever you want by whomever you want.

    You can adopt a child no matter what sex or marital status you or your partner have (other demands must be met of course) and as a rule no matter where you go you will not be rejected because of your sexual orientation. This goes for jobs, schools, bars and so forth. In fact most people are prone to think that LGBT are pretty cool.

    However, I recently read that about 20 % of gay men have felt afraid for themselves or their loved ones when holding hands or kissing publically. Not during daytime hours but at night around clubs and bars, etc…

    In other words, we’ve come a long way in Denmark but there’s still a bit more distance to walk before we’ve reached the place where we want to be.

    1. A lot of western European countries are way ahead of the US when it comes to equality, but you’re right–still a long way to go.

  20. I’m hoping marriage laws will soon change in California. I don’t know why people fear so much that gays will marry. It’s not like straight couples are doing so well considering the divorce rate.

    Thanks for participating in this great hop!


    1. It’s a strange thing. I’ve been married for almost 25 years, and I can’t for the life of me see how letting my gay friends marry would take anything away from what I have.

      Thanks for visiting!

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