Hop Against Homophobia & Transphobia

Today is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia.
I have two daughters–one is 14 and the other 11. They have their quirks. The older one can be incredibly lazy. Given her druthers, she’d spend all day in her bedroom, reading fanfic and texting with her friends. The younger one is a melodrama queen who can turn being forced to bathe and brush her teeth into a three-hour tragic opera. She’s also a picky eater who hates trying new foods. But they’re both bright and funny and creative. They adore reading and traveling, and they’re amazingly accepting of others. I love them.
What if one of them comes to me one of these days and says, “Hey, Mom. I’m gay [or bi or trans].” It wouldn’t change what an amazing person she is. It wouldn’t make her less lazy (or less melodramatic) or less smart or funny. It wouldn’t change the fact that the older one can spell better than I can (and I’m a university professor), or that the younger one can draw wonderfully detailed dragons (and I can barely do stick figures). Of course I wouldn’t love her one bit less.
How can any parent reject a child because the child is LGBTQ? I will never understand this. And yet some studies claim that half of all LGBTQ kids are rejected by their families. Many of these kids end up homeless. These kids are also more likely to attempt suicide, to abuse drugs, or to engage in risky sex.
I hope things are getting better. I hope we reach a point soon when no kid hesitates to reveal their sexual or gender orientation to their parents. Where, when parents find out their kids are LGBTQ, they can say the same kind of thing I’d say to mine: “I’m glad you shared that with me. I love you very much. You’re wonderful. I want you to have a happy life, full of love. Now go clean your room.”
For a chance to win an e-copy of my latest novel, Motel. Pool. plus a $10 donation to the LGBTQ organization of your choice, comment here. Make sure to include your email so I can contact you if you win. If 20 or more people comment, I’ll give away two books and donations. I’ll choose a winner at noon Pacific time on May 25.

38 thoughts on “Hop Against Homophobia & Transphobia”

  1. What a great post! Thank you for sharing. I recently discovered that some of my friends and family members are not as acceptable as I though they were. It pains me to read their hateful comments and re-posts about LGBTQ on social networks. Luckily, my significant other shares my sentiments and is always there for me when I need someone to vent to about these issues.

  2. Lovely post, Kim. Thanks so much for participating in the hop. I hear you about loving your girls no matter what. My kidlet means the world to me. She’s smart (and a pain in my keister sometimes) and lovely (I have palpitations because she looks a good 4-5 years older than her current 14 going on grown). It baffles me as well how anyone could reject their child because of gender identity or sexual orientation. Maybe, if we keep raising kids who find those things non-issues, keep writing books about love being love no matter what… hey, maybe one day we’ll get to see the day where it’s a non-issue for everyone, and hops like this one won’t be necessary.

  3. Thanks for doing this! I’m both a family member and friend to people in the LGBTQ community. It deeply saddens me what they have to live with because of who they love or the body they were born into. No one should have to face what they do.

  4. Thank you for your post and for participating in the hop! I agree with you; if my son told me he was gay I wouldn’t love him any less. I would worry about how he was treated by others though. I hope that by the time he is old enough to make those kinds of determinations about himself, the world will be more tolerate than it is now.


  5. Lovely post. My younger brother is gay, which we pretty much knew since he was 5. I’m super proud of my mom (who was brought up in the ’50s) for accepting him for who he is, after much brow beating from me, of course. 🙂 I also don’t understand how anyone could turn on their kid for being LGBTQ. It’s unfathomable to me.

    Divalcious @ aol . com

  6. I loved your message Kim. I have 3 beautiful daughters and 3 years ago my middle daughter, age 19 came to me and told me she was gender neutral – wasn’t exactly sure what she meant but how could I not still love her as I had all the years before. What difference did it make what gender she loves or will love in the future – as parents we just want them to be healthy and most importantly happy!!


  7. Yup, wouldn’t change how I feel about my kids one little bit. But I’ve seen it happen first hand, and no, I will never understand.

  8. Wow. It’s feels good to hear you are donating in the winner’s name. I hope I am that lucky winner.

    “Where, when parents find out their kids are LGBTQ, they can say the same kind of thing I’d say to mine: “I’m glad you shared that with me. I love you very much. You’re wonderful. I want you to have a happy life, full of love. Now go clean your room.” ” It’s so true. 🙂


  9. I don’t have any children and I don’t imagine I will but if my niece or nephew came up to me and told me they were gay I can’t imagine turning them away. Thank you for taking part in the hop and for being a voice against homophobia and transphobia.

    humhumbum AT yahoo DOT com

  10. Why do parents throw their child out I just can’t understand it so many people in this world long for children it’s so very sad.


  11. I’m not a parent, but as you say, it’s hard for me to imagine withdrawing my love from my own child because her/his sexuality was different from mine. I think this is an important story to be told, as a role model for parents. Great post. 🙂

  12. I have two boys and I will love them no matter what their sexuality is. I hate it that some parents literally disown their child because of this, I really can’t understand how someone could to this. I am so proud of my eldest son (who is 16), as he has a friend who has told him he is bi-sexual, and his response was…. “yeah and” . I had to explain to my son that a lot of people would turn him away because of this and his response was he is still my friend, nothing has changed that. My son did say to me that some of the other “friends” within their group had gone away due to this. My email address is: demayhew65@googlemail.com

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