Boring Contest!

So it’s mid-August, and the new semester begins in a little over a week. Which is depressing, sort of. And I was sitting in a concert tonight (Chris Isaak–great show!) and it occurred to me that I haven’t done a giveaway in a while. It’s time!

This summer I took a couple writing workshops in Iowa. One of our assignments was to write as boring a piece as we possibly could–which is harder than it sounds. I wrote a short essay about a strip mall in Bakersfield. It’s definitely the least interesting thing I’ve ever written.

Now it’s your turn! Write the most boring paragraph you can and add it as a comment here. Has to be original work–no copying from textbooks! It has to be narrative, not just a list. But really, suck anything remotely intriguing right out of that thing. My kids will judge–they are experts on booooring. Winner gets a print copy of Buried Bones and a $10 Dreamspinner gift cert. If I get more than 20 entries, I’ll give two sets of prizes away, so go ahead and spread the word. Entries are due August 19 at noon PDT. You can submit up to two entries. Make sure to include your email address so I can contact you if you win.

Good luck!

And here’s Chris Isaak and my husband’s finger:

Inspiration Post #13: Urchin Cove

Have you read my novella Treasure? It’s free! You can download it here: The lovely cover is by Eli Easton:

The little inlet where Julian stays–and finds a man washed up on the beach–looks exactly like the one Eli found for the cover. The inlet is located maybe a mile from the village of Urchin Cove.

Urchin Cove was inspired by several places. I think maybe many small, isolated fishing towns have a lot in common. So Urchin Cove is an amalgam of places I’ve visited, such as Brela, Croatia, and Depot Bay, Oregon (minus the tourists). But fictional places inspired me too, such as Killick-Claw, Newfoundland (in Annie Proulx’s The Shipping News) and the version of Penzance in the 1983 production of Pirates of Penzance (the one with Kevin Kline as the pirate king). For your ships, the best boat stands here if you need the best marine equipments.

I was recently lucky enough to go on an Alaska cruise. Now, I’d finished writing Treasure several weeks before the cruise. But when the ship pulled into port in Ketchikan, I was delighted to discover that Ketchikan also bears a certain resemblance to Urchin Cove.

Sadly, there were no imps in Ketchikan. Unless you count this rather soggy one:

Next week: toothaches

Please welcome Tempeste O’Riley!

Inspiration for Designs of Desire

Thank you for having me over, Kim.
So, Kim asked me a question about my recent release (and debut novel) “Designs of Desire”, “What was the inspiration for your story?” Today, I’m going to share my answer with not just Kim, but with you as well.
“Designs of Desire” is the story of James Bryant and Seth Burns. The story really started out as me venting my issues with how “normal” people oft times view others that are not physically perfect. You see, James has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome—a hyper-mobility joint/connective tissue genetic disorder—and between that and past injuries he walks with forearm crutches, can’t stand for long without severe pain, and tends to see himself as others treat him… All things I fight with every day.
Those characters (and real people) with mobility issues don’t want to be seen with pity or worse, but that’s been James’s experience—well, when they aren’t hurting him or ignoring his very existence. So out of this frustration James was born. And while I have not personally suffered the type of abuse he has, much of his past is based off the stories friends of mine have told me about their own histories and hurts.
I would like to not only invite you to explore James and Seth’s story, but to also find out more about why James is the way he is physically. Oh, and no, that’s not just funky jewelry he’s wearing on the cover, that’s the Ring Splints that help his fingers work right…
Designs of Desire
by Tempeste O’Riley
M/M Erotic BDSM/Kink Contemporary Romance
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Release Date: July 29th 2013
Length: Novel / 200 pages
Add to: Goodreads
Artist James Bryant has forearm crutches in every color from rainbow for fun to sleek black for business. He even has a pair with more paint splatters than metal. After his family’s rejection and abuse from a man he thought loved him, James only just gets through the day by painting. He lives in constant fear that he’s not worthy of anything, let alone love.
As CEO of his company, Carrington Enterprises, Seth Burns is a take-charge kind of guy, and he is instantly smitten by the artist helping with his newest project. When he witnesses James suffer a panic attack, a protective instinct he never knew he had kicks in. He truly believes nothing is unobtainable—including James—if he’s willing to put in the time and effort.
James is shy and confused by Seth’s interest in him as a person. With Seth’s support, can he work through his fears to finally find the true love he deserves, or will someone finally land the crushing blow he won’t survive?

About the Author:
Tempeste O’Riley is an out and proud omnisexual / bi-woman whose best friend growing up had the courage to do what she couldn’t–defy the hate and come out. He has been her hero ever since.
Tempe is a hopeless romantic that loves strong relationships and happily-ever-afters. Though new to writing M/M, she has done many things in her life, though writing has always drawn her back–no matter what else life has thrown her way. She counts her friends, family, and Muse as her greatest blessings in life. She lives in Wisconsin with her children, reading, writing, and enjoying life.
Tempe is also a proud member of Romance Writers of America® and Rainbow Romance Writers. Learn more about Tempeste and her writing at
667, 668, 669….
A file slapped the desk in front of James, distracting him from his attempt at counting the dots in the ceiling tiles above him.
“I know you’re busy and all,” Brian said, his usual sneer in place. “But do you think you’ll have time to help a new client?” The man just lived to give him a hard time.
James took a deep breath. He desperately hoped his hatred of the man towering over him didn’t show. James Knew open displays of boredom pissed Brian off, but James hadn’t had a prospective or existing client call in two days. He’d finished his purchasing reports, sent the work orders and e-mail. All calls done. What else was he supposed to do?
“Sure, Brian. Let me see what we’ve got, and I’ll head right out,” James replied. He tried to sound upbeat. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his job; he did. But Brian hated him, and he always got the leftovers—usually clients the other designers did not want for one reason or another.
“I’m sure this one’s right up your—” Cough. “—alley,” Brian finished with a snicker.
James never figured out how someone so hateful and narrow-minded as Brian stood working in their field, much less kept his job. In James’s opinion, art, even corporate branding and design, should attract people with a bit more open-mindedness. He had a few ideas on the latter but kept his opinions, and gutter-mind, to himself.
Forcing a smile across his face as he opened the folder in front of him, James called out to Brian’s retreating form, “No worries, boss.”
Brian paused and turned to look over his shoulder and with a nasty smile added, “Oh, and the guy’ll be here in about ten minutes. Don’t screw up.”
Ten minutes? Seriously?
He started to peruse the new client information, pleased that at least the file seemed to be complete—charts, images, budget, etc.—and his phone rang. He answered on the second ring. “Good morning, James Bryant speaking.”
“Ah, Jamie, got the file yet? ’Cuz let me tell you, this one’s something else,” came the disembodied voice of his best friend and co-worker, Chase Manning. “He’s not like most of the scraps Brian-the-dick tosses you.”
“I’m sure I can handle whatever he sends my way. The clients aren’t usually as difficult as Brian and the others make them seem. They just don’t want to deal with high maintenance or quirky. Which, when you consider the job, makes no sense. But—”
“Jamie, dear,” Chase said, cutting him off. “That’s not it at all. This guy’s hot, and I mean H-O-T, hot. He’s waiting for you already and man, I so wish I had your job today,” he practically squealed. “So hurry up and get your sexy ass down here. Now.”
“Shh…. Don’t be so loud. The last thing I need is you to offend a new client. Now, go back to work and let me read over the file, would ya?” He shook his head and clicked off his Bluetooth. James glanced over the information for his new client. Seth Burns? Carl, their senior manager, had been trying to get Mr. Burns of Carrington Enterprises as a client for years. Wonder what he’s looking for and how this project slipped past Brian to me?
Setting it aside, James pulled out his messenger bag and loaded it with the folder. He already had all his staples in there: pens, pencils, a notebook or two, and a couple of sketch pads. He carefully hung it across his neck and shoulder so the bag wouldn’t slip. He preferred his backpack, but his boss frowned on “casual.” James gathered his forearm crutches, the plain black ones he only used for work, and he began the arduous task of getting up before he slipped his arms through the cuffs.
Once satisfied he wasn’t forgetting anything, James slung himself down the hall to the elevator, where he waited. He hated standing there, given Brian’s office faced the hall.
When James reached the main floor, Chase seemed to vibrate as he waited for him. His face reminded James of a child at Disney World instead of the twenty-five-year-old man he actually was.
“Do you want to meet with him down here in one of the conference rooms?” Chase pleaded, batting his eyes for full effect. He knew better than to act like that, but, oh well.
“Relax, Chase,” James said with a smile. Chase, his sometimes assistant and best friend, always worried about James walking too much, but then he never managed to understand the idea of limitations versus inability. James could walk, though he couldn’t walk far or carry much of anything. He simply needed his crutches. Limitations James loathed but had learned to accept.
“I just hate you traipsing up and down the halls. I wish—”
“Don’t,” James snapped harder than he’d meant to. “Sorry. You know I appreciate your concern, but I’m a big boy and can manage fine. Now, go back to your desk and do your job so I can do mine.”
With a huff, Chase flounced back to his desk. “Fine,” he called over his shoulder. “Be that way.”
James ignored him and pushed on, maneuvering himself around to reception to meet his new client.

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